Thursday, September 30, 2010

Kristin the Hermit

Life after 8/7/2010 means that instead of planning a wedding, I fill my time with schoolwork. Plus, I'm able to freelance on my own schedule from home, so I don't have to worry about keeping hours at an office. This gives me lots of time to write and edit my thesis, walk the puppy, and, well... remain isolated.

Seriously, today before I took Mia out on a walk today, I smudged on some eyeliner to make myself feel like I was at least giving my appearance some kind of effort. Because, honestly, the only person I see on a regular basis is my husband, and he never cares WHAT I look like (bless his heart). The problem with working on my thesis and doing an internship and working from home is that, some days, I don't get out of yoga pants. I also assumed I would be more likely to exercise since I'm here a lot-- but no. The only activity I get is in the form of carrying laundry down two flights of stairs and walking the dog around the neighborhood a few times a day. Ideally, I'd be that energetic woman who gets up at 6am, takes the dog for a long run, showers and is cracking away at all her money-making writing projects by 7am... In reality, I roll out of bed when my husband gets out of the shower at 6:30 and proceed with the whole waking up process until 7, when I contemplate exercise, decide against it, shower, feed the dog and myself, then start interning at 8. I then procrastinate on doing my work until I can't anymore, do some work, procrastinate some more, get mad at myself for my lack of discipline, then get around to some more work.

I just.... I spend a lot of time by myself during the day, which I love (especially on days when my UC is bad and I'm sick and exhausted and out of it) but sometimes I miss human contact. I talk to Mia like she's a person who can give me opinions on my outfit (gray or blue t-shirt with these black yoga pants, puppy?) and force her to cuddle with me when I need a hug. I'm not lonely-- my husband comes home, we eat dinner and hang out. I get my recommended daily dose of human contact (also, there's facebook). But my schoolwork has really taken over my life. Actually.. I can't really blame my schoolwork, when it's a mix of a lot of things. But, I took it all on. I took on grad school, a marriage, a house, a dog, an internship, a freelance job with AOL. It really is too much all at once, but as long as I can keep treading water til the internship and thesis are done... I'll be fine. And then maybe at that point I can leave the house for more than a walk around the block, a trip to the grocery store, or a visit at my parents' house!

Here's hopin'.

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